Themeattics

What you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while.

Gretchen Rubin

It’s been a month since I first discussed using Beeminder to apply a strong schedule of negative reinforcement. Those of you that missed that article can find it here: https://themeattics.com/2021/04/03/money-meet-mouth/. I talked a big game about it then and in the follow-up https://themeattics.com/2021/04/09/carrots-and-sticks/, so after all that talk, how have things fared? Is it as driving a force as I remembered and played it up to be?

Well, I guess I spoiled it with the header image, but long story short, yes. Unequivocally yes.

A month in and I’ve climbed up the tiers of leeway, going through weeks of emergency days where Beeminder was consistently sending me emails and push notifications that, should midnight arrive without putting in my time, I would be charged for the failure, to now enjoying a string of green days where I have 3 or more days of buffer due to the extra time I’ve put in.

I’m someone that works well under pressure, so while the red days were frustrating to deal with on days where work had been difficult or there were challenges at home, that threat of losing cash for failure kept me pressing forward. Maybe you can relate to this, but even before I set this goal, I knew I’d be at my best on red days. I wasn’t worried about those.

What I was worried about were the next ones. The yellows and the blues. Those are the days when I had a day or two of buffer, respectively, and the days when I knew that I could allow myself to coast. Coasting is my nemesis. I’ve got serious inertia problems, and the last time I set up a Beeminder I failed for specifically that reason. I got far enough ahead that I could allow myself some grace, then my non-writing life took a significant hit and I let myself back away. Then I couldn’t get back, and I not only had to pay up but it ended up with a writing drought that lasted nearly 6 months. I allowed myself an out, and being the weak person that I am, I latched onto it.

Needless to say, that was and remains a concern of mine. Now that I’m in the green, I have reached the top-tier of leeway. That’s a dangerous spot for me. I’d like to say it’s different this time, that I haven’t had that same struggle, and while that’s true, it has only been a month. My last run went for around five before it failed. I felt good about my start then as well, so there’s always that nagging comparison that rears its head.

But, hey, enough with the negativity. This is a review of what is, not what might be somewhere down the line, and I can say without hesitation that this has been a phenomenal month. I decided it was time to stop failing, so I did. Despite splitting that goal of 60 minutes a day across 3 different projects, I managed not only to maintain my goal of an article on this site per week, not only to deliver on all my contracted work for the unannounced game that I’ve been helping build the story for, but as of this week, I have finished the first draft of my novel and am currently involved in the first thousand-mile edit. Would I have done all this without the pressure from Beeminder? It’s possible, yes, but it was part of the toolkit I needed to ensure success. I wanted a stick, and it was there to deliver.

As for the future challenges that may arise from coasting, I’ve found a surprising motivator. Turns out I really, really like the green of Beeminder’s widget on my phone home screen. Something about it just screams success, and the couple times I’ve dipped back to blue felt like personal failings. I think I’ll cling to that, and cling further to the notion that each minute I put toward satisfying these buzzing bastards is a minute closer to achieving a goal I’ve had since I was a kid.

I’ll see myself on a store bookshelf. And when I do, I’ll have decades’ worth of people to thank. And, if I’m being fair, maybe a little-known app as well.