There is no way that this winter is ever going to end as long as this groundhog keeps seeing his shadow. I don’t see any other way out. He’s got to be stopped. And I have to stop him.
Phil Connors, Groundhog Day
Hello again, Dwellers. It’s been a hot minute, and I want to begin by apologizing for that. To you, of course, but ultimately to myself. Dropping the ball always feels miserable, but I doubt it ever feels worse to anyone besides the one doing the dropping. Which brings me here. This is, of course, a familiar position. I’m well rehearsed in the cycle of failure, as you all well know. Part of my schtick at this point – that and the perpetual cycle of writing a story and then tossing out most to rewrite on whims that seem good at the time.
Don’t worry, I have no intention of turning this article into a pity party. Nobody wants that. Instead, it’s time to fight this particular little demon of mine – the Ouroboros. For those unfamiliar, Ouroboros is the symbol of the cycle of perpetual destruction and recreation, a serpent eating its own tail. This is a fairly common thing across several cultures, each with its own take on the serpent / dragon and the reasoning, but my personal version is simple enough. He’s the perfect representation of my writing “career,” if one wanted to use the label loosely.
They say admitting you have a problem is the first step in conquering it. If that’s the case, it’s a certain level of irony that I’ve taken that first step several times now (Here comes that little serpent friend again) and find myself back at it once again. My most recent editing sessions for Residuum have all been dismal failures as I struggle to find headway into the new path I thought I wanted to forge. Knowing myself from years of this, I understand the cause and where this can easily lead if not kept in check. In short, I don’t like the plan I thought I liked, and if I keep trying to force it I’ll just stay in a doldrum for months. That can’t be allowed to happen, so it won’t be. What’s next, then, is a short step backward. A review of where things stand and, far more importantly, where they stood before this rewrite pass began. I think part of my issue is that I actually did like a lot of what was in there before, and while I was trying to fix the things that clearly needed fixing I ultimately wound up uprooting those things for a totally new path. That was a bad call. I see that now. So, instead, I’m going to go back over the parts that I’ve identified as problems, compare them to the plan that I made, and see what I can do to merge the ideas or, if necessary, build new ones. Think of it as inventorying stock. I need to know what product is good and what needs to be replaced.
This process poses its own problems, but the most relevant of these is time. I don’t want this to become another drawn out excuse to ignore actual writing for the sake of another self-consuming snake named Outline. It needs to be quick, efficient, and clean. Find the problems, find solutions, and get to work. The work itself needs to be much the same – a scalpel, not a sledgehammer. It’s time to use the tools at my disposal to their fullest. It’s time to get this thing in a position for readers once again and then get to work on new things.
Speaking of, at the close of voting it seems Below won the vote for my Choose Your Own Adventure story setup that I plan to release on Substack. Appreciate those of you who took the time to comment, next time I’ll make it less clunky to do so. I intend to start outlining that story this month, though not with any high degree of focus. I’m planning to release the first part of the story (and info on how that’s going to all play out) at the start of the new year, so I’ve got time. Residuum is and must be the main focus until it’s packed up in a nice bow.
Should I get that wrapped up this month (Which seems highly unlikely, but hey, a man can dream), I’ll be splitting my attention four ways. One, of course, on Below. Another on outlining Catalyst and the full series it begins. Another on the story of a yet unnamed game a friend and I are working on. And, finally, the last on cataloging and planning the world of my Substack-focused Cyberpunk world.
I have a ridiculous number of ideas floating around in my head that have all been locked up for much too long, held hostage by life, in general. I almost blamed it on Residuum, but that’s certainly not the case. It’s on me. All of it is, and all this talking about stepping up is just that. Talk. I don’t want to be just talk. There’s too much of that in the world already.
It’s time to break the cycle. To crush the serpent. To do.
Thank you all for continuing to be an outlet. Next week, things will have a brighter tint. Promise.
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