Themeattics

Attention is currency these days, and a lot of motherf*****s are bankrupt.

It’sAGundam

Hey there, Dwellers. It’s me. One of those motherf*****s.

In what I can only attribute to either a delicious piece of irony or a divine slap across the face, I was busy multitasking about five different activities with an It’sAGundam video on in the background, barely hearing anything that was being said, until something pulled my ears to pick that one particular line. Flippant, sure, but it got me. So, here I am.

A persistent complaint – admission? confession? – of mine is my lack of discipline to focusing on the things that matter. I’m a sucker for making goals, planning things, drawing up these huge, detailed lists of the hows and the whats, only to piddle my time away on anything but progressing toward those things. Then, of course, I circle back to making new goals, new habit trackers, new plans, new anything that pretends to get me back on track. Rinse, repeat. The cycle continues. Need to get to work cutting a trunk? Yeah, but maybe I’ll watch a YouTube video instead. Editing needs to be handled? Uh huh, but what about a game or two of Dota 2?

I often describe these things – the videos, the games, the general do-nothing times – as thefts of my time, but that’s not true, is it? No one is stealing anything. I’m giving that time up. Lighting it on fire. I’m choosing what I do with the time, and that choice is leading me down paths which lead nowhere. Well, they definitely lead somewhere, but not the place I want to be. None of the places I want to be. With that in mind, why should I allow myself to keep thinking of those times as stolen when I know the truth? The only way to change a habit is through force of will in the opposite direction, after all, so that’s what needs to be done.

Importantly, this change has to be handled one step at a time. No jumping in the deep end and burning myself out, not for something as important as this. So, to that end, I’m not planning to throw out all these multitudes of plans and trackers. No, instead, I’ll be really using them. Whereas before I’ve been marking down any and everything I want to do, then allowing the sheer magnitude of the list to push me away, I’ll be tailoring it down to what I have the time to actually accomplish. The needs, not the wants. Only after those needs are completed am I allowed to do anything off-task. That’s the big one, as I know how inertia-based I am. Once I’m off-task, it’s hard as hell for me to get back on. Best to not allow that slippage in the first place.

Big talk, of course. I do like my big talk. Social pressure is another key to this, however. I’m enlisting the help of some of the people closest to me to keep me honest. Mostly the missus, since she’s actually around, but I think I’ll actually have the kids help out too. They’d probably have a great time making sure I’m getting my “work” done. A little turnabout.

I started this in earnest today, after having the leading quote seared into my brain. I knew – know – that this Sunday would have been a heaping pile of nothing prior to it. I’m tired, it’s been a hell of a week (month, year, etc.) and I wanted to do nothing. Wanted to let another day slide into the abyss, doing some mundane garbage and letting content float around my head while slipping further into being a zombie. Then, I got slapped out of it. I got the drive to really look at where I want to be in life, what I want to do, and once more realized this shit doesn’t just drop in your lap. You have to make it happen. Go out there and get it. And so we will.

That’s good for now. Another thing to mark off the day’s list. Quite a bit more to go and only a few hours before I need to pass out. Good sleep is imperative if I’m planning to keep on keeping on. Which, believe you me, I do.

After all, there are stories to tell.