Quite moaning about fate and change // Stand up on your feet and rise // With every fall you get the pain, you get the less // Start now, open your eyes // … When you change yourself, you change the world.
Gojira, Silvera
A toast – to welcome fall and the shitshow that is planet Earth in this, the year of our Lord 2023.
Every so often you take a break from things happening around the world, then come back at just the right moment to feel a little like Jeff Goldbloom in Independence Day, stumbling drunk and throwing things around the office in hopes we can screw up bad enough that whatever vile forces seem Hell-bent on destroying us just give up and move on. This seems to be one of those times, but instead of following that thread into the abyss, I figure I’d step back and focus on the positive.
What, you thought globally? Nah, we’re on a journey of personal growth around here. Time to get a little selfish with it. Place the oxygen mask on our own face before assisting others sort of deal.
September was a pretty miserable month on the personal goal front and I’ve got a mind to make up for it this time around. The list is large but so is the motivation, and I’ve somehow managed to turn the most ridiculous thing into a guide. When I put this month’s goal list together, I made a special category called “Don’t be a bitch.” Crass, yes, but that’s where I housed all of my negative goals. The places where I know I’m dropping the ball – namely, health. Snacking a ton at work, not tracking my food, not really paying attention to what I’m eating, etc. I’m old enough that nothing I do in the exercise world with the time I can give is going to counteract bad eating, so this stuff is important. I’ve got things to achieve out here.
Anyway, I made that category as a joke, at least in name. I was… shall we say upset at the scale on the last day of September and knew I needed to make a change, so there it was.
Work – the wonderful, caring place it is – has people bring in cookies and such all the time. We’ve got permanently stacked snack closets, a cake is bought for the office on birthdays, and every Thursday is donut day. September me was a BIG OL’ FAN. Come October 2nd, I went back to the office with a mission. No eating any snacks from the office. Originally, the goal was to only eat what I bring, but we’ve got some team lunches or later work nights where the boss gets us a meal and I’m not going to be that guy, so I compromised a bit. Either way, when a random bag of cookies showed up in the kitchen on Wednesday, I walked by, looked in, paused, and chided myself. Don’t be a bitch, I said, I left.
Every time I walked by. And again, on Thursday, with donuts. And when I was hungry but hadn’t hit the time I was allowing myself to eat. And, and, and.
It worked. I’m as surprised as you are, but it did. By not allowing a single instance of breaking, I could withstand the desire to give in. I’ve found that if I give in at all, even once, it’s pretty much over for the day. Food is my kryptonite for sure, so if this works, I’m all in.
Now I just need to work on my home habits.
As for the rest of the goals, well, fall seems to finally be blessing us with some decent weather. I’ve got a garage to clean and get into shape for starting up woodworking plans, something I’m deeply excited about, and a bunch of home improvement work to be done. Plus a few nerd goals. I’m in a competitive mood this month and improvement isn’t going to come on its own, what can I say? And, of course, writing. Residuum edits are back on the menu, and I’m doing my best to not do my usual thing where my small changes become entire new stories. It’s going alright thus far, and I think I’m about ready to get to chiseling some finer details into part 1.
It’s funny, I’ve done enough that I look at my goal list and worry that time’s running out for the rest, only to realize I’m just starting the 2nd week. Still a lot left to handle, but there’s a lot of time left to handle it in. Things are looking up, just as long as I keep looking in my area of influence. It’s better there, overall. I’d recommend it.
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